Humans of the Male Variety
by iKissedJBcho1
Summary: Tyler moved to Oregon to get away from the gossip in Beverly Hills. When she meets Logan, it seems that the process is going to go smooth, but when she meets Kendall, it just might be a little harder to move on with her life than she expected. OOC.
1. Chapter 1

**1**

Before I say anything, anything at all, I have to say this. My name is Tyler Rosalina Garcia, I have a 4.5 GPA, my favorite color is brown and I am _not_ a hateful person. I always try to look for the best in people when I first meet them. Despite all of the crap that's happened to me in my life, I always try to give people a chance. There was only one time in my life I didn't operate that way. That one time was Kendall Knight-Mitchell, he was the one exception to my ususal judgment making.

Words cannot begin to describe how much I hated that guy. With all of me, I sincerely hated him. Sure, he's my best friend's brother, but really I didn't even understand how the two could be siblings. Logan is so sweet, so gentlemanly and caring. He respects me and protects me and understands me. Even after I only knew him for two days, I knew he'd do anything for me. He made me feel safe.

But Kendall... just being in the same room as that boy gave me the heebie-jeebies. He was the exact opposite of Logan in every way. He was rude, disrespectful, proud, arrogant and a man-whore. He'd screwed almost every girl in our school. Anytime I met a girl he hadn't screwed, she would just end up being the main subject in the recent additions to Kendall's "been there, done that" list the next week. I was one of the very few along with my best friend Demi who he hadn't managed to charm into giving it up.

Logan, Demi and my other friends told me that he wasn't always like that, but I had a hard time believing it. No one just becomes something like that over night. But so goes the story of a sophomore Kendall who after hanging out with a senior named Jay Hannegin -known for being the school playboy- and his little clique for one night, turned into a man whore. Logan told me that he said the experience "opened his eyes to the advantages of daily sex with random chicks". I can't possibly find any advantage in that, but maybe it's because I'm a sane human being. Well, mostly sane... but that's beside the point.

I had moved to Happy Valley Oregon in the middle of my junior year. It was just after second semester had finished up in January so the weather was still cold. It wasn't something I was really used to because I had lived in southern California all my life, but my aunt Cassie and Uncle Justin had made sure to get me comfortable. They had enrolled me in the high school closest to our home, which was Clackamas High. I was indifferent to where they put me regardless though; the only thing that worried me was if people knew who I was. Which gladly no one but my counselor did, and she wasn't one to gossip.

When I got to Clackamas I had made sure before I actually came to school to audition for the Varsity choir. Being a part of a choir was a major part of my life, I couldn't go to a new school without it. The choir director, Mrs. Danice, was really nice to me and accepted me in. I wanted to apply for the small chamber choir called the Cavaliers also, but she said that she wanted me to audition later on for next year so I wouldn't overwhelm myself. I didn't argue with her because I could feel she was genuinely thinking of me.

Then the next week, when the second semester started, I started school. Our schedule worked on a Day One/Day Two type of format, so we only had four periods in a day. On day one I had AP Chemistry, Pre calculus, art, lunch which didn't count as a period and advanced Spanish. Then on day two I had AP US History, English 11, lunch, A-Choir then a free period. Pretty average schedule for my junior year.

I first met Logan in my AP Chemistry class. They were starting a lab and I didn't have a partner so he asked me if I would be his lab partner. I was highly cautious around him at first, as I am with most humans of the male variety, but as we talked I realized that he wasn't anything for me to be totally afraid of. And on top of that he was a freaking genius. Literally, he understood everything. He could've been teaching the class. We realized as the day went on that our schedule was exactly the same, except for art class.

I got to the art room to see that I was the only one there. The teacher wasn't even in the room. I decided to take the time to find somewhere good to sit. I sat at a table close to the front of the room and put my feet up on the table. I closed my eyes and shoved my hands in the pockets of my jacket and shivered because apparently the school didn't believe in having a heating system. After a few minutes I'd heard someone come inside the room, but I paid no attention. Bad idea.

"Hm... new girl..." the person, who I had then realized was a guy, said just loud enough so that I could hear him. As soon as I heard his voice my eyes flew open and I put my feet back down on the ground. I made eye contact with him and found that my fear had begun to diminish. He looked... inviting. He had a gorgeous face, tall fit frame, soft looking dirty blonde hair and gray-green eyes. But the more I looked into those eyes, the less trusting I became. I noticed they were cocky and lustful.

"Yes..." I responded. "And who are you?"

He smirked at me, another warning sign, and strode over to me. Notice the word choice there, he _strode_, not walked. He fucking strode... warning sign number three. I sat up straighter in my chair and he stood over me.

"How about you join me in the supply closet and I'll tell you?" he said smoothly, bending down to talk in my ear. "I'm sure my name'll sound beautiful in your mouth..."

I felt a disturbing chill go down my spine and suddenly it hurt to breathe, but I quickly collected myself and I shoved him away from me and stood up.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" I shouted, balling up my fists. I know how to fend for myself, I'm not afraid to hit a man. I didn't care if it was only my first day, how dare he come up to me like I was just some tramp? He look surprised for a second before he smiled at me.

"Relax sweet thing," he coaxed me. "I understand. We don't have to move so fast. You can come to me when you're ready."

"Yeah, whatever dick-licker. Piss off," I said, absolutely done with him. I already knew he was going to have to be at the top of my list of people to look out for. I moved to a seat more towards the back of the room and he sat down at the other end of me. He didn't talk to me for the rest of the class, but he did stare at me the way a shark would a baby seal. So as soon as the bell rang, I bolted out of the room with my things and headed towards the cafeteria, which was the huge central common space of the school. I had brought my own lunch so I avoided the long lunch line and searched for somewhere to sit.

My eyes found Logan and he saw me and waved me over to where he was sitting. I sat down next to him, a girl with reddish brown hair was sitting on the other side of him. He introduced us.

"Demi, this is Tyler. She moved here over winter break from California," He said. I smiled at her and she nodded back at me. He introduced me to the other people sitting at the table, Carlos, James, Alexis, JT, Jordyn, Destiny and Keenan. They all said hi and I said hi back.

"So, you're in A-choir right?" James asked, surprising me from his apparent knowledge of me when I had only just met him. Everyone laughed at my facial expression and he was quick to explain. "Don't worry, I'm not a stalker. Mrs. Danice said that we were getting a new member to A-choir and I just assumed it was you," he explained. I felt a little relieved once he did.

"Oh, yeah. I am..."

"Well then welcome to the family," Demi spoke up. I blushed.

"Thanks. I've been singing for as long as I can remember, I was in varsity choir back home. Chamber choir too. I couldn't come here and not sing," I said with a shrug.

"So that means you're trying out for Cavs next year right?" JT asked.

"Yeah, that's the plan," I smiled. I felt comfortable around this group already, which was a feat for me. We laughed and ate our lunch in good spirits... that is until a certain someone came to sit down. When I saw him, I almost fell out of my seat.

"Hey guys... and new girl," he smirked at me. I rolled my eyes in disgust.

"So what're you, stalking me now you fuckin' cock sucker?" I spat at him. The pig -who I learned from last period's role was named Kendall- just chuckled at me and a weird mood settled over the table.

"So I see you two have met." Logan groaned. I turned to him with my eyebrows raised.

"You're friends with this slime?" I said, questioning his morals. He sighed and shook his head.

"No, worse. He's my brother." He explained. I then took that as my cue to leave. I silently packed up my stuff with everybody's eyes on me and I got up and started to walk away.

"Wait, where are you going?" Logan called after me.

"Yeah, sweet cheeks, where ya goin'?" Kendall added.

"Somewhere that's far away from your disgusting face!" I yelled in response. Then I flipped him the bird and kept walking. I got just outside of the common area and to the vending machines before I heard Logan's voice again.

"Tyler hold on a second," he said from beside me. I stopped walking and turned to face him.

" I'm not going back there and I don't care what you say to try to convince me otherwise. I refuse to be around someone like him. I don't like being objectified and I don't hang out with people who tolerate conceited cunt-fucks like him. I mean, you're his fucking brother…there's no avoiding him. It just isn't going to work for me,"

Logan sighed and shook his head. "I never said I tolerated how he acts, because I don't. He's disgusting... and yeah he's my brother, but that has nothing to do with you and me. We can be friends Tyler, I'm not Kendall. I'm me," he said to me, his eyes soft. I sucked my teeth and a thought crossed my mind.

"He's in A-choir isn't he?"

Logan's expression changed. "Be honest with me," I added. He nodded slowly and I felt anger begin to well up in me. I felt like punching something, so I punched Logan in the gut.

"Ow! What was that for?" he pouted, rubbing his stomach.

"For having a sadistic bastard for a brother," I said. "and because I had no one else to hit."

He laughed at me and we ended up walking to the library together, talking until the bell rang.

The next day Logan, Carlos, Demi, James and I met up at a local Café before school and ate breakfast together. I saw Kendall when I got to school, and I know he saw me, but his lips were sucking on the face of some ditz who was trying too hard to act like she wasn't into him. He winked at me and I looked away and kept walking.

I walked to my first period with Logan and Demi and it went by slowly. Then I had the next class with Logan, Demi, James and Carlos. It went by a little faster than the last. We had lunch together but when Kendall came over, Logan and I went to the library.

Oddly I was comfortable around Logan. It's something I can't really explain. The only other man who'd ever made me feel truly safe was my dad, so the fact that I could sit so close to Logan and be at ease said a lot. We sat close together in a corner and just talked. We almost missed the bell for third period.

We walked to choir together, our conversation veering to music and our favorite types. I was surprised at a few of the things he'd told me. Like the fact that he listened to 90's R&B.

"You like Jodeci? What in the world do you know about Jodeci?" I asked, laughing at the completely serious look on his face.

"What do I know about Jodeci?" he said, looking appalled. "I'll show you what I know about Jodeci" He paused in front of me, and then put his hand over his heart. "_Forever my Lady, It's like a dream! I'm holding you close, you're keeping me warm. If this is ecstasy... forever my lady, I say just what I mean! Forever and ever, I pray is what I see!_" he sang, almost perfectly. I was shocked because not many people can bust out a classic like that.

"Well damn, I guess you do know then," I chuckled. He smiled at me and we walked into the choir room, which was already filled with people. Some were sitting in chairs and some standing around just talking. The room was huge and the chairs were set up on rising platforms. I followed Logan towards the top and we sat down together. James, Demi and Carlos joined us and Mrs. Danice called everyone to attention. The rest of the choir sat down in the chairs and once we'd gotten mostly quiet, the door opened and disrupted it.

Kendall walked in with his confidence on 10 and I got a nauseous feeling as a feminine hum emanated from the room. He walked up and sat down on the other side of Logan, winking at me as he passed. But I acted like he wasn't there.

"Glad to see you could join us Kendall, are you feeling better?" Mrs. Danice asked him as she silently took role. I assumed he had faked sick the last few days before break and rolled my eyes.

"Oh you know me Mrs. D, I can't stay down for too long," he responded smugly. It took me a second, but I caught on to his dirty humor and shook my head. I noticed a few people smirk, but other than that I don't think anyone really noticed. It had only been three minutes and he was already getting on my nerves.

As class went on I decided to just listen for a while. I already knew Logan had an amazing voice, but I wanted to hear everyone else's voices. Demi's voice was phenomenal and she was definitely an alto like me. Carlos impressed me as did James, but I really wanted to hear Kendall. I started to figure he just half-assed through this class because I couldn't hear him at all, or maybe he was just superb at blending. But I didn't want to assume anything positive about him at the time. He was still a womanizing cock-sucker and thinking positive things about him would make me want to sympathize with him.

We didn't do a whole lot of singing and Mrs. Danice introduced me to the choir. She told them where I was from and I very vaguely told them why I moved here. It was apparently appalling to them that anyone would want to move to Oregon at all, especially from a place like Beverly Hills. Which I think is funny because I usually hear that Oregonians think their state is the shit above all others, but maybe that was just Portlanders…

Mrs. Danice gave us our spring music and we talked as a class about winter break. It was a pretty lax class. Once the bell rang, me and Logan walked together to health. The school had two campuses so we had to walk to the other campus to get there.

"What is it like in Beverly Hills?" Logan asked me once we got outside. I shrugged and put my hands in my pockets.

"Stuffy, inconsiderate, conceited..." I said simply. He chuckled.

"So I guess "The Hills" isn't too far off?"

"Nope, it's right on point. The people are self-absorbed and superficial and if you're not careful you end being just like every-single-one of them," I said bitterly. It wasn't that I hated Beverly Hills itself; I just hated the people in it. So completely caught up in their selves it made me sick. I was glad I moved away. Sure I missed my parents and the nice weather and the shopping, but that's about it with my affections.

"So that's why you moved?"

"Partially…" I mumbled, not really feeling like continuing the conversation. He seemed notice my closed off-ness and changed the subject.

"So have you gotten settled in yet?" he asked, a little more cautious sounding this time.

"Yeah, my aunt Cassie and Uncle Justin have been awesome to me as always. I just finished unpacking my clothes and stuff. All I have to do now is unpack my guitar and my drums and all the rest of my instruments,"

"You play the drums?" he asked, sounding genuinely surprised to hear this. I laughed and nodded.

"Yes, along with the guitar, the bass guitar, the piano, violin, cello, flute, saxophone and I'm pretty badass with a soundboard," I said, his eyes widening. I smiled and looked down at the ground as we walked through the doors to the east campus. "They all keep my mind foucused. I have to play to stay sane," I explained. He seemed to understand, although I knew he really couldn't and we finally got to class.

* * *

><p>The rest of that year went by in a blink and by a feat that I can only explain as God at work, Logan and I became inseparable. I'd never really made tons of friends back home, and none of them were ever guys because as I've said before, I have issues with humans who have penises.<p>

Kendall was forever trying to get into my pants despite the fact that I'd made it clear I was never ever going to even be slightly into him. I'd gotten good at fronting and hiding the fact that every time he talked to me I wanted to break down in tears and run away... Towards the end of the year, when the weather was getting warmer and the clouds were finally burning off, he got a little more friendly with me. It was probably because of the sudden heat and the fact that he'd never seen me in anything but a sweater and jeans and I was now wearing more dresses and skirts. He was a dog so yeah, I'm assuming that my change of wardrobe was it.

"Hey babe," he said to me one day while we were waiting for the bell to ring so we could go to lunch. I was standing by the art room door and he was standing across from me. There was a group by the door because we'd finished class early. I ignored him and shifted my weight from one foot to the other.

"So I see we're taking the silent route today," his voice found my ears again. I backed away from the sound and didn't give him an answer. "that's alright with me, cuz you know I don't need to hear your voice to admire those pretty legs I see have come out to play," he purred, coming closer this time. I looked down at my shorts and then up at him, my face set emotionlessly.

"Don't you ever get tired of this bullshit?" I said. "You always say the same dumb shit and it gets old. You sound like a fucking broken record,"

I could see his smugness begin to flee from my hit at his game, but he caught it and hid it with a smirk.

"You know it wouldn't get so old if you'd just stop fighting it," he answered. The bell rang and I walked out the door. "Oh, so now we're quiet again?" he shot at me. I rolled my eyes.

"You know, you're not as irresistible as you think you are," I blurted out. I stopped walking and he stopped behind me. I turned to face him and he looked curious. "If you really wanted my attention you'd act like a real man, with manners and respect. You are a dog, and I don't fuck with dogs. So just walk away,"

"Aww, that hurts my feelings baby-doll. Besides, it looks like I've already got your attention,"

I shook my head and took a deep breath. "Yeah, negatively… You know what Kendall, you're sad case, I feel bad for you. You're going to spend the rest of your life alone if you keep acting like this. I'm sure you used to be a nice guy, somebody I'd want to get to know maybe, but this you… I'd rather hang myself than fuck you," then I turned away from him and started to walk, but I stopped dead from what I felt next.

He slapped my ass and squeezed it. Then I felt his breath in my ear and his voice said, "Damn that attidtude's sexy,"

This time there was no hesitation in me and I immediately turned around and backhanded that muther-fucker. The sound echoed through the hallway and a teacher nearby called out to us. Then a security guard started towards us.

"Don't you ever put your filthy hands on me again you rat faced fuck! I'm tired of you doing thsi to me!" I screamed at him. He looked shocked for a moment that I'd hit him, but then that sickening smirk twisted his lips.

"Hey-hey, Kendall I saw that," the teacher said, the security guard coming up to us.

"I saw it too," the guard said. Kendall scoffed.

"Yeah, she slapped me for no reason,"

"It wasn't for no reason, you slapped my ass you dirty animal!" I shouted. The teacher told me to calm down.

"It's okay, I saw what he did," he said. "Kendall ,what you just did is sexual harassment, you know that right?"

"But that doesn't mean she can slap me, she can't do that," Kendall said coolly. I wanted to rip his face off.

"Yes, but you can't touch her like that either," the guard said with authority. "When we report this, odds are you're the one getting in trouble here, especially if this isn't the only time you've done this,"

Kendall shrugged and the guard took us to the counseling office. They gave him a week's suspension and I got two lunch detentions for hitting him. When I told Logan what happened, I could swear steam was shooting out of his ears. I'd never seen him so angry before.

"I'm gonna kill 'em," he said over and over again. I didn't see him as being the fighting type, but when he came to school the next day he had a black eye and the skin on his knuckles were raw.

"I told him if he ever put his hands on you I'd kick his ass," he said when I asked about it. "He put his hands on you, I kicked his ass."

When Kendall came back we only had a week left in school. Not much had changed, but I did notice he was different around me. He would look at me in that pervese way of his, but he didn't speak to me at all. He wasn't any different around other girls, but he made sure when I was around to act like he was being somewhat respectable. And even after a week, his bruises from he and Logan's fight hadn't healed completely.

I'm not going to lie, I didn't think he'd ever change so quickly, but I wasn't complaining in the least bit. Kendall was finally off my ass, and I loved it.

* * *

><p><strong>an: so this is my first time writing about BTR, I felt it was about time since i fucking love those guys (especially Kendall if you couldn't tell haha!) so yeah, here goes nothing lol XD**


	2. Chapter 2

The summer went by really fast. I went back to Beverly Hills for a couple of days and spent some time with my parents. We never left the house though; I didn't want to see anyone else in our neighborhood, especially because of my old classmates who lived next door to us. It was a huge gossip fest everywhere you went and I refused to go around and hear people who think they know me whisper about my life.

When I came back to Oregon my cousins Lilani and Kevin came back from collage. They both go to Arizona State and come back in the summer to visit for a few weeks. It was nice catching up with them. They're both three years older than me, they're twins. Lilani is studying to be a physiologist and Kevin is there on a football scholarship. When I wasn't at home talking collage with my cousins or in my room working on music, I was with Logan and Demi.

I went to Logan's house a couple times and thankfully Kendall wasn't home. I think he was avoiding me. Their parents were really nice to me, Ms. Mitchell was a pediatrician and Mr. Knight was a lawyer. I was uncomfortable being around Logan's dad for a while because he looked so much like Kendall. They were almost the same height, had the same eyes the same hair, Mr. Knight's was just shorter. Logan suggested we go to the mall after a while because I think he could tell I was feeling awkward. His dad didn't act like Kendall at all though, so I don't know why I was freaking out so much.

We spent a lot of time at the mall, I ended up spending a lot of money on accident because of this. My parents weren't too mad at me, but I did get my card limit cut down. By the time school rolled back around I didn't even need to go shopping for new clothes. The day right before school I decided to donate all of my old clothes to Salvation Army. I wasn't wearing them so it was time to give them to someone who needed them more.

The first day of my senior year was supposed to be exciting because it was the beginning of the end you know? But it wasn't because of course the first class I had Kendall just happened to be in it. It was Calculus, which I didn't expect him to be in because I can only assume that his brain is the size of a pea. I don't know why, but apparently the universe is intent on forcing us together because as the day went on I realized our schedule was too synced together. Three classes and lunch together, and Logan was only in one class with us to guard me from his disgusting brother. The next day was pretty much the same.

I had gotten into the Cavaliers from last year's auditions, and that had both Kendall and Logan in it, but the way we were sectioned, Kendall had to sit right behind me and Logan was on the complete other side. But thankfully, the other guys in Cavs were on Kendall's ass because they all knew why he'd gotten suspended the year before. The class that I hated having the most with him was art. It was the advanced art class so we pretty much got to do what we wanted, which meant a lot of free time.

I found that was the one thing positive about Kendall I could say without some kind of bitterness, he was an amazing artist. His drawings and paintings were superb, and I have to admit I was a little jealous of his talent. That and his voice. Singing with him in Cavs had opened up my eyes to that too. I was learning that despite his pig-headedness, he hadn't lost all of his humanity. It was just buried underneath all of the playboy bull crap.

About a week into school we started to do lessons outside because the weather was still on the summer side of things. I tried to stay by the teacher most of the time so Kendall would stay away from me, but one day I just didn't feel like having my guard up. It was tiring being on watch all the time and he had been pretty lax the last couple of days so I wasn't worried.

I sat by a sapling in the school garden and started to sketch it. The assignment was a nature scene in graphite or charcoal, I was going with graphite. I had gotten the basic structure of the sapling down when I heard someone walk up behind me. I immediately put my guard back up and stopped working. I turned to see who it was and surprise-surprise, it was Kendall.

"Hey," he said to me, his voice surprisingly not on game. I turned back around.

"Can you please go away?"

"Oh come on, don't do me like that Garcia," he said, the game voice back on. I stood up and turned to look at him.

"Stop it," I said, trying to be nice. "Now move, please,"

He smirked at me and didn't move. Something in his eyes set me completely uneasy and I tried to walk around him, but he moved in front of me. I moved the other direction, and he moved with me. This happened about three more times before I sighed.

"What do you want?" I asked, my patience running thinner.

"What do you think I want?"

"Something you'll never have, now move," I said with my arms crossed. He looked down at the grass beneath us and took a deep breath.

"Yeah that… but I want to talk to you this time. As in, actually have a civilized conversation." he looked back up at me and for some reason his eyes made me sad. I wanted to take his request into consideration, but I shook it off and shook my head at him.

"It's too late for that… now if you'll excuse me," I tried to walk around him again, but this time he grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

"Hold on a second," he commanded. My stomach crawled up to my throat and my mouth suddenly felt dry. Tears formed in my eyes from his grip and I tried to fight them back but they fell down anyway. Memories flooded my mind and my head started to pound.

"Please let go of me…" I whispered, my fear beginning to take me over. I looked up at him and he quickly let me go. He looked surprised at me and I ran towards the school. I got inside and kept running until I got to my locker, my heart racing. I grabbed my things and pulled out my phone and asked my aunt to come get me. My body was shaking and I went out front to wait for her car. I knew she was supposed to come and sign me out and junk, but I just wanted to get away from that place.

As I sat on the bench out front and waited for my aunt, I heard footsteps come towards me. I jumped as they sat down and I looked over to see Logan. I took a deep breath and felt my hands shaking.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked me, reaching for my hands. I pulled them away and shook my head. "Tyler, what happened?"

"Nothing, okay?" I snapped. "Just… please leave me alone,"

My aunt pulled up and I shot out of my seat. I got in the passenger's seat and buckled myself in. I refused to look back at Logan once she started to pull away because I knew the look in his eyes would kill me inside.

* * *

><p>I heard a knock at my door and I peeked from under the covers to see who it was. My aunt Cass stood in the doorway with knowing in her eyes.<p>

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about this Tyler? You know you can tell me what's on your mind," she said worriedly. I shook my head.

"I don't wanna talk right now…" I muttered, going back under the covers. She sighed and started to close my door.

"Well, there's a young man named Logan downstairs who wants to talk to you. Do you want me to let him up?" she asked. I felt my stomach shoot back up to my throat and I shook my head. I couldn't even give her a legitimate response, only moan and shake my head.

The fact that Logan had went through the trouble of coming to my house to check on me made me feel guilty, but I couldn't talk to him. Talking to him wouldn't help me, if anything it'd make it worse. It was better I just stayed alone and got myself together, that way it'd be easier to avoid his questions later, I could think of good excuses that way.

My phone started to ring beside me and I grabbed it from the nightstand. Logan had texted me.

**[y wont u tlk 2 me?]** I sighed and sent him one back.

**[can u drop it?]** I put my phone back on the nightstand and covered myself up with my comforter. I was beginning to worry that he wouldn't stop asking about it. Logan is persistent, if he thinks there's something seriously wrong with me, he'll pester me until I spill it. But I couldn't tell him what was wrong; it wasn't even Kendall's fault but Logan would take it that way. I didn't want him to fight with his brother over some girl.

If I was a normal person, I wouldn't have been freaking out like that, yet there I was hiding under my blankets like someone was out to get me. I knew that I couldn't keep hiding from everyone, but I was too afraid of people knowing about my past to really let it go. I was getting too close to the people around me, I had to start distancing myself again so they wouldn't care so much. So when I let them down it wouldn't hurt them so much…

The next morning I woke up and took a shower, did my hair and make-up and got dressed. I turned my phone off, noticing that I had over 20 new text messages. I also noticed something strange. They were all from Logan except for one. The one that wasn't from Logan didn't have a name by it and I'd never seen it before. I brushed it off for the time being and decided to go downstairs.

Aunt Cass had made breakfast, waffles and eggs with bacon. She had already made me a plate once I'd sat down at the island in the middle of the kitchen.

"Good morning," she greeted me. I responded with the same and said grace over my food. I cut into my warm waffles and started to eat in silence.

"I see you're still not ready to talk yet," Aunt Cass observed. I looked up at her and shrugged.

"There's nothing to say, I'm fine," I fed her, cutting into my waffles. She sighed and started to put away the rest of the food she'd made.

"Well if you don't talk to me I'm going to have to say something to your uncle, and you know that's not going to be pleasant," she said. "Did it have to do with that boy who came by?"

"No," I answered. "Please don't talk to Uncle Justin. And Logan has nothing to do with it. He was just coming to see if I was okay. He's probably going to interrogate me just the same as you are right now,"

Then I heard someone come down the stairs and I turned and saw Uncle Justin still in his pajamas. He came up to me and gave me a hug good morning, the stubble from his chin scratching my forehead.

"Don't talk to me about what?" he said, going over to my aunt to give her a kiss good morning. I shook my head and looked at my plate.

"Is it okay if I drive myself to school this morning?" I said, trying to change the subject as fast as possible. Uncle Justin shrugged.

"Well I don't see why not. You still haven't driven the car your parents bought you yet… we got you a parking pass at school right?" he asked. I nodded and he went to the foyer to grab the keys to my car. My parents had gotten me a car over the summer. I don't know why, I guess they felt I needed one. I hadn't driven it yet because I didn't want people to see it. It was a bit flashy for being my first car and I don't like flaunting my parents' wealth around.

He tossed me the keys and I thanked him and stood up and grabbed my backpack. I kissed them both goodbye and went out to the garage. No one at school really knew that my family had a lot of money, there were guesses that I was well off because of where I was from, but no one truly knew. I guess no one had built up the confidence to ask me yet. My father is a producer and my mom co-owns a chain of really popular restaurants with my Uncle Justin along the west coast that have been in our family for generations. I've never once in my life known what it's like to be without, and I receive that blessing, but I'd rather not let the whole world know about our money. People change when they find out stuff like that.

Before I pulled out of the garage I decided to check my phone. I turned it on and checked my text messages. I skimmed over Logan's because they all said the same thing, asking why I wouldn't talk to him. I got to the one with the number I didn't recognize and read the message.

**[Those tears weren't for me were they?]** I frowned and realized who'd sent it then. I felt my heart begin to race as I thought that maybe he'd figured out the real reason why I hated him so much, but then I shook my head. He couldn't just get it after that one time. I decided that if he tried to talk to me about it I was going to avoid it at all costs. He wasn't going to be the first person to find out about Christopher… I wouldn't let him.

I drove to school and played some Jagged Edge on the way there, trying to relax. The sound system was really nice in the car. The whole car was really nice, it was an Audi after all. I had luckily found a really good spot, but unluckily, I noticed Kendall had parked across from me. My windows were tinted slightly, so I hoped he couldn't see that it was me inside.

He pulled in shortly after me and looked into my window with his face scrunched up as he tried to figure out who I was. Then his eyes changed and instead of the smirk I was expecting he looked surprised to see it was me. I decided to get out of my car and grabbed my bag from the passenger's seat. I started to walk and he quickly got out of his car.

"Hey Garcia," he attempted at greeting me. I rolled my eyes and locked my doors before walking towards the building. I wasn't talking to him. If there was anyone at all to avoid at the time, it was definitely him. "Tyler, would you hold on a second?" he called after me. I turned around, surprised at what he'd said.

"What did you just call me?" I said, genuinely shocked. He put on his duffle bag and walked towards me.

"Your name… isn't that what I'm supposed to call you?" he said innocently. I crossed my arms.

"You've never, ever addressed me by my first name," I pointed out.

He chuckled and I walked away, not wanting to talk anymore. If I kept talking to him it would most likely end up the same way it did the day before, and I wasn't having that. I felt a presence beside me as I got closer to the front doors and looked to my right to see Kendall walking beside me.

"What are you doing?" I asked him. He looked back at me.

"Walking…?" he shrugged. I frowned and stopped walking.

"What do you want? I'm not in the mood Kendall," I shot at him. He sighed and shook his head.

"Nothing…" he muttered, walking away from me. I watched him go inside and I felt odd. Something about him was strange. He didn't have his game voice on, his usual swagger was turned off and he seemed… _sad_.

I ran into Logan on my way to first period and couldn't even look at him. He asked me if I wanted to talk but all I could do was shake my head and walk away. The plan was to distance myself, but once I'd left him standing there it felt like the wrong thing to do. A part of me told me to go back and apologize for acting that way, but most of me just said get to class.

Calculus was quiet that morning, the reason being Kendall wasn't cracking any jokes or poking fun from his spot in the back of the room. We took our notes in silence and did our class work just the same. It wasn't as pleasurable as I thought it would be. In a weird morbid way I missed it. I wanted to hear him act like his normal self, because the way things were going now it made me want to worry about him.

Lunch time rolled around and Logan was nowhere to be found, so I went to the library by myself. I pulled out the book I was reading called _The Perks of Being a Wallflower_ and found a quiet corner to sit in. After I'd gotten to the December 21st entry in the book I had to close it and put it away. My eyes started to burn from what I read and I had told myself to save this book for when I was alone so no one could see me cry anymore. I stood up and went to go, but I wasn't watching where I was going and ran into someone.

"Excuse me, I'm-" I paused once I'd realized who I bumped into and tried to look everywhere but at him. "… I'm sorry," I muttered, apologizing for more than just bumping into him. Logan sighed and hooked a finger under my chin, another thing no one but my dad had ever done to me, and he looked into my eyes.

"Don't apologize, it's okay," he said with a smile. "You wanna talk now?" I nodded and fought back tears as he took my hand and took me out of the library. We found an open area under a flight of stairs and sat down together.

"So what did he do this time?" he said as soon as we sat down. I shook my head and chewed on my bottom lip.

"It's not his fault Logan," I sighed. "He didn't know I'd freak out,"

"Freak out about what? And since when do you defend Kendall?" he chuckled. I rolled my eyes.

"Since I realized hating him is stupid. He can't help if he's an asshole…" I smiled. He took my hand and butterflies went crazy in my stomach for the first time ever from him touching me. "I-I just… he said he wanted to talk to me, but you know I wouldn't give him the time of day. I tried to walk away but he tried to pull me back… it just set me off a little," I explained. He sighed and took my other hand.

"You know, if you had someone, I think he'd leave you alone…" he said, squeezing my hands. I inhaled through my nose, feeling nervous all of the sudden. But it wasn't a scared nervous, it was a good kind of nervous. That was another first with Logan.

"You know, I think you're right…" I responded, my voice shaking. "but I don't know if I'm good enough for someone to have…" Before I knew it our faces had gotten dangerously close. I felt his breath on my face and thankfully it was fresh. In that moment I knew I had to let my mind go because if I thought about it I'd run away. I wanted a chance to stop being afraid, and Logan was that chance.

"Well you're more than enough for me," he whispered and made my heart melt.

So with both of our eyes locked on the other, our lips touched. I expected my first kiss with someone I actually liked to be something terrifying for me, I expected I'd want to pull away and sprint in the other direction… but it wasn't like that with Logan. His lips were soft and they guided me sweetly. I thought it was strange at first that our eyes were open, but I couldn't keep them open for long because the sensation of his lips distracted me. He felt so good, keeping my eyes open was almost impossible. Like when you bite into a freshly baked cookie and tilt your head back and you can't help but closes your eyes and moan because it's just that good…

We parted and we rested our foreheads together, our breathing almost matching each other's. I opened my eyes to see his eyes were closed, but there was the biggest smile on his face. I reached up and I ran a finger across his bottom lip.

"You make me feel how I never thought I could…" I said, the tears coming back, but they were happy tears this time. They dripped down my face and he kissed them away for me.

"If you let me," he whispered. "I'd be glad to make you feel that way all the time…"

I couldn't help but to kiss him again, and this time he wrapped his arms around me and held me close to him. And I'd never felt more at ease.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day Logan picked me up in his truck and we rode to school together. He never once let go of my hand as he drove and we hummed along to the music on the radio and smiled at each other. I don't want to exaggerate or anything, but being with him made me feel like nothing negative in the world could touch me. He was just like this huge security blanket that was wrapped all around me and it was going to take more than some guy trying to be fast with me to shake it off.

We found a relatively good parking spot and walked towards school with our hands intertwined. I noticed Kendall's car was parked towards the front so I automatically started to look for him. Something in me wanted so bad for him to see us like this. I knew he would eventually so I told myself to be patient. Logan walked me all the way to class even though he knew it'd make him late. We stopped in front of the door and he kissed me on the forehead.

"I'll see you at lunch babe," he said to me, making my stomach leap at him calling me babe. I told him goodbye and he walked away, holding onto my hand as long as he possibly could. I walked inside, not able to help the grin that was spread across my face. I went to my seat and sat down, suddenly feeling someone's eyes on me.

I turned around and saw it was Kendall. Once he saw me turn around he looked away, a frown lingering on his face. I wondered why he was frowning for a moment but then I smiled because I knew. He was mad because me being with Logan made me _completely_ off limits to him. If I was dating anyone else it probably wouldn't phase him and he'd keep trying to get at me, but with Logan it made me untouchable in every way.

So I expected the old Kendall to come back full swing after that, for him to be hooking up with girls in the halls again and with another one on his arm by the next period, but that didn't happen. A month flew by and Kendall was completely different. Girls would come up to them and he'd shoot them down, he was always quiet in class and he didn't come sit with us at lunch anymore. When I saw him, it was like he was moping. I told myself to ignore it, because thinking about it made me want to worry about him again.

Since Logan and I started spending a lot more time together, I went to his house a few more times and Mr. Knight didn't scare me anymore. I actually gave him a hug when I saw him. Mrs. Mitchell couldn't have expressed enough how happy she was that Logan and I were together. I also learned from his mom that Logan is only his middle name and his real first name is Hortense. I teased him about it incessantly for a week, but it seemed to hurt his feelings a bit, so I stopped bringing it up.

I also noticed that whenever I came around the Knight-Mitchell house, Kendall had some reason not to be there. At first I paid no attention to it because I was glad he was gone, but after a while it bothered me. Okay, so what I was dating his brother now? That doesn't mean he gets to runaway when I come around. I was beginning to want to get to really know the real him more. Logan and I were serious, I felt like a part of their family, but no matter how much I couldn't stand Kendall, we weren't really a family if he wasn't there.

The more he ignored me, the more he got under my skin. And it was getting on my nerves that I was actually starting to care about him. I had to remember that he was my enemy, that he was one of the very people who would rock my nightmares and wake me up screaming with my aunt and uncle coming to comfort me and tell me it was only a dream… life was going good without Kendall, and I needed to start appreciating it.

But December was when things really started to get weird.

Our school year had been cut shorter by a whole week that year, so we had a couple of extra days off in December. And so with the extra days Logan suggested we throw a movie party. We decided to throw it at Logan's house and we invited the entire choir and a few of our other friends from school. Carlos, James and Demi helped us set up and everyone brought food. Destiny brought the movies and Ms. Henderson made food and stayed up stairs while we partied. She was our adult supervision.

We were having an awesome time, not everyone that we invited showed up, but nonetheless it was fun. We had all worn our pajamas too, so it was warm and snuggly all around. We were all watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, right as Hermione was walking down the stairs in her gown looking amazing, when I had finally realized Kendall wasn't there. I thought to forget about it, but I couldn't help but wonder where he was. I was curled up next to Logan when I decided to get something to drink.

I pulled myself away from Logan and told him I was going to the kitchen. Jordyn had made a few batches of butterbeer since we were watching Harry Potter all night. So I grabbed a mug from the cabinet and started to fill it.

"What the hell is that?" a scratchy voice came from behind and startled me. I managed not to spill my drink and turned to see Kendall with his pajamas on. I rolled my eyes and sat my glass down on the counter top.

"Have you ever watched Harry Potter? Or read the books?" I asked. He shrugged.

"Maybe,"

"Well it's butterbeer," I explained. "Would you like me to get you some?"

He looked me over in my own pajamas and chewed on his bottom lip. I instantly regretted wearing shorts and resisted the urge to feel disgusted. I wanted to call out for Logan, but didn't. I didn't want to cause a scene and everyone was having a good time. I couldn't mess that up... He was only looking at my clothes, no big deal… Kendall nodded after a moment and I went to the cabinet to grab another glass. My senses felt heightened around him, I could hear him breathing, his clothes brushing as he moved slightly, smell his body spray…

I walked back towards the pitcher slowly, avoiding eye contact with him. I poured him a glass and handed it to him, our hands touching on the exchange. I made sure to pull back as soon as possible and I grabbed my own glass.

"So… where have you been?" I asked him. "I haven't seen you all day until now,"

He shrugged again and took of sip of the butterbeer. He seemed to like it because after that first sip he gulped it down.

"I was upstairs, in my room," he said, wiping his mouth with his arm.

"And why is that?" I asked. "Not feeling very social?"

"Why do you care?"

I shook my head and took of sip from my mug. "I don't know… It just bothers me is all,"

"You know what? You make **no** sense," he said, setting down the mug. His tone didn't sit well with me.

"What are you talking about?"

"_What am I tal_-…" he sighed and shook his head. "I thought me staying away from you would be what you wanted, but now me not being around bothers you? Can you make up your mind please?"

I rolled my eyes and started back towards the living room. "Fine then, be a hermit if you want to. Just because I'm here doesn't mean you have to shut yourself off you know? I don't have a problem with you if you behave yourself,"

"Not like I have a fucking choice…" he muttered. I turned around.

"You do have a choice Kendall, you always have a choice," I said curtly. "You had a choice from day one."

He stared at the floor and shuffled his feet. "I know… and I'm sorry I made all the wrong ones," he apologized. I was surprised and felt my eyes begin to water. He'd never apologized to me before. My emotions got the best of me because I never assumed he would and I felt a tear drip down my face. I tried to hide it, but his face changed. He saw.

"Yeah," he said. "That was kind of late, I know… and I'm sorry about that too. I'm sorry about a lot of things…" then he grabbed his mug and turned the other way, and he left me standing there feeling strangely unsatisfied…

* * *

><p>On the Monday we came back to school, the old Kendall came back too. He was still a bit toned down, he didn't flirt with me at all much to my pleasure, but I started to notice something that I never had before. The week before, Demi and Carlos had started going out, and I have to say they were the cutest thing I've <em>ever<em> seen. Carlos is the ultimate gentleman and he treats Demi like a princess every time I see them together. And for some reason since it started happening, Kendall _really_ started to avoid us.

I figured that maybe it was just the fact that he didn't want to be surrounded by couples all the time, but that wasn't it. I had always wondered why Kendall never tried to hit on Demi. Maybe because they'd known each other for so long, since elementary school, and that made her the one girl in that school that he actually held respect for. But when the whole Demi and Carlos thing started, I really wanted to know what it was that made him want to stay away. So I asked Demi about it. We were driving to my house to study together when I asked.

"Hey Dem,"

"Yeah?"

"How come Kendall never tries to hit on you? I mean, I don't think I've ever seen him try to make a move on you, _ever_," She chuckled and played with her hair.

"I think it's because he still likes me," she said, not really surprising me. " Or he could just not care about me anymore… He had the biggest crush on me in middle school. When we were freshmen, he tried to ask me out, like, five times. But I kept telling him no because I honestly didn't want a boyfriend at the time. So that's what I told him, but he didn't believe me. He just thought I didn't like him but was too afraid to say it to his face. I think it really hurt him because all of the sudden he just started ignoring me. After a couple of weeks I confronted him about it. I told him that I didn't want him to feel like we couldn't be friends anymore and that if he really wanted me he could wait until I was ready for him because I just wasn't. He said that he understood and that he would try, but ever since that night he spent with Jay it's like I don't exist to him. But honestly I don't miss him, I mean I don't miss this new creepy version of him... I do miss the old Kendall."

I took a moment to look at her face and she looked so sad. Then I realized that there was still this whole other Kendall that I've never met before. And then I wished so bad in that moment that I had met the other Kendall first.

"What was he like before?" I asked out loud. She smiled and started to pick at her fingernails.

"Kind, sweet, gentlemanly... a leader. He was always the leader. He was always who we went to when we had problems or issues. He could resolve any problem our friends had. He's so smart… We were such good friends before and now it's like I have no idea who he is anymore. Honestly if he hadn't changed so much I'd probably be with him now. But I just don't think I can anymore... I don't even want to," then she paused and her sad face did a one-eighty.

"Don't laugh at me when I say this," she grinned. "But I think I'm in love with Carlos," I smiled in response and she giggled.

"I know, I know, we've only been dating for a little over a week but… I think he was always the one that I was waiting for you know? Looking back he was always there for me, he always knew how to make me feel better. And our brains are already connected, we know what the other is thinking before we even say it, and we know what's bothering each other without even having to ask… I should probably be scared that we're so in sync already…You know, that's the thing that's keeping me from telling him all this," she stopped and I took my eyes off of the road for a moment to look at her and she looked serine. "I'm terrified to tell him I love him because I don't want that to be what breaks the wavelength. I don't want to ruin things."

"I don't think it will," I said. "If you ask me, he's probably feeling the same way. I think you should at least try to tell him. You shouldn't have to be afraid when you're so connected. I'm sure he knows you love him. Verbalizing it can just be scary sometimes…" then I paused and bit my lip as a thought suddenly crossed my mind.

"Dems…" I whispered. She looked over at me. "What if I'm just using Logan?"

"Huh?"

We finally pulled into my driveway and I turned off the car. I felt my eyes begin to burn and I looked over at her.

"What if I'm using Logan?" I repeated. "What if the only reason I let him kiss me in the first place is because he's my blanket? If Kendall wasn't the way he was, would I still feel the way I do about Logan? What if what I want from Logan isn't _him_, but the protection he gives me? Is it wrong of me to use him as a shield but not be sure if I genuinely feel anything real for him…?"

"Ty…" she sighed. "Logan cares about you more than any other girl I've ever seen him with, when anybody mentions you his face lights up. You make him happy. Wanting him because he makes you feel safe isn't a bad thing. It's a good thing, a _very_ good thing. You trust him don't you?" I nodded.

"With everything, your secrets, your fears, and your dreams?" I nodded again.

"Well that's all you need. Trust is the one thing that a lot of people miss in their relationships when it's the one thing that holds them together. Mistrust tears so many people apart. The fact that you have so much trust in him after only dating him for a few months is amazing. It takes some people _years_ to trust someone like that, and sometimes people never get there. If you're not sure if you love him just yet, there's no need to beat yourself up for that. The love will come naturally, you just have to be patient with yourself,"

She took my hand and squeezed it before we both took off our seat-belts and we hugged. Her words made me feel lighter because I'd been asking myself that question for a while. It was nice to hear someone give me an answer. As we walked inside my house I realized that after winter break it was going to be a whole year since I'd first met Logan, and I still hadn't even told him about Christopher. I realized that I wanted Logan to be the first person I tell my past. He was my boyfriend and my bestfriend, I think he deserved to know the most out of anyone else I'd met.

I had to tell him. The issue was _how_…?


End file.
